i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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