I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
