all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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