I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
