talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
