hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
