i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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