dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We left the knife in your bed.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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