We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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