if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
