Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
