If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
