I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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