did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
