There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
