Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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