i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
