oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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