new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
