When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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