OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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