in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
