Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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