Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
