i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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