You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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