When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just had sex on a roof
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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