U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ladies don't puke and tell
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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