Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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