We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
