so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dignity is for republicans.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
