I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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