You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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