i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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