i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
