fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
