I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
