I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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