You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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