The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
