she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
