the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
