I've blown a few things in my day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
