remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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