What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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