I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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