aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
