we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
