he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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