Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
His nipple licking is glorious
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